Matt and I made one another's wedding rings. We are not jewellers, and therefore we've had a couple of ... difficulties with this decision, but I'm still glad we did it. The rings were perfect for our wedding day, and I'm dealing with any imperfections a little better now than I did when they first occurred (I'll get to this later).
Matt made my ring from palladium, which is VERY sturdy, but very hard to work with. The solder he used was also difficult to work with. He started on the ring more than a year before we got married and finally gave me the finished ring two days before our wedding. The ring is a band with a rose-like flower that holds the diamond. It is modelled after a ring of my grandmother's. The way he chose to create the ring called for a lot of soldering of small parts together, and it was tedious and did not always go as planned. Until he started putting all the parts together, I wore the band as an engagement ring. But when it was done, it was gorgeous and very special. Worth the wait (like Matt ;) ).
I am even less skilled at making metal things than Matt, so I made his ring from iron in his grandpa's shop. He helped me cut a thin strip which we then hammered on the anvil into a circle, ground smooth, and soldered the thin opening between the two ends. It's nothing fancy, but it was something I could make.
Here are the rings on our wedding day:
As I said, they were perfect for the wedding, but mine was just not as sturdy as it needed to be for everyday wear. Really, the only actual thing that went wrong on it's own was that the diamond was loose within the prongs and after about a month, it fell out. Luckily I found it in the house right away. We left the diamond out for a while, but when Matt tried to put it back in and hammer the prongs down (with tools made for doing this), the prongs came loose from the solder joint. In trying to solder the prongs back in later, the rest of the solder melted (you have to get it EXTREMELY hot to solder it, and it is hard to pinpoint one small area on something already so small), and the rose became unattached from the band. For a while, I've been wearing just the band and we've decided to wait before trying to put it all back together because it is difficult with the materials Matt has, and also stressful. I think he wants to try something new in the future, and we've discussed getting a ring made to look very similar from a professional near our next anniversary. I'd be a bit sad not to wear the ring HE made for me, but I'd still wear the band he gave me, and I know in the future he'd like to try making a new ring for me from easier-to-work-with materials.
Matt's ring is sturdy - the only problem is that it can rust, not something you normally want in an everyday ring. So, he takes it off a lot when he is doing things where he'll get his hands wet. It is also a tiny bit loose (because he is a bit claustrophobic when it comes to wearing things), so he also takes it off to sleep and when working on things with his hands. We have a little dragon figurine whose tail is made for holding rings, and that is where the ring is supposed to go, but Matt sometimes just leaves it on the counter near where he is working, or occasionally puts it on the sink lip.
I promise I am getting to the story soon.
I have sometimes wondered if we should have just bought rings - it was a very stressful process hoping Matt could make mine in time, and then when he tried to fix it later ... but looking back, I'm glad we did what we wanted and made rings for one another. They may not have turned out perfect, but we can still remember the hard work we both put into making the rings for our wedding, and I have slowly decided that we could have rings made for everyday wear and still keep the old ones somewhere special, and they won't lose their importance for us. I think the story of our rings reminds me that even though we may not be able to make everything perfect for each other in life, we are still willing to put in effort to do what would make the other person feel most loved (because Matt's tradition of making me things makes me feel very loved), and likewise, we are both willing to look past the imperfections and find the value and beauty in each other.
OKAY HERE IS THE STORY in case you were getting bored and started scrolling down to see how long this would be.
I'm not even sure how long ago it was now - maybe a month, maybe two? - when I noticed I hadn't seen Matt's ring in a while. He doesn't really wear it at home, but I see it sitting around wherever he has temporarily stored it.
I asked him about it and he said he wasn't sure where it was, but thought he had just set it somewhere and he was sure it was in the house or at his parent's house (where we'd visited recently and done some things outside, so I guess he thought he'd taken it off for some reason there).
I was busy with a summer class at the time, but in my spare time I tried to clean up bits of the house, looking for it. I checked all his pants pockets and the washer and dryer. Not there. We looked everywhere with increasing desperation, at least on my part, over the course of a month. Matt checked at the house where he stays when he is away for work. Not there. I checked the bathroom and counters at his parent's house when we went there, even though I was sure if they'd seen it they would have said something. Not there.
I was starting to give up hope. I thought maybe Matt had set it on the kitchen counter and Llyr had knocked it to the floor and under something, but when I searched everything it could be under, it wasn't there. Then I thought maybe he'd left it on the sink counter in the bathroom and Llyr had knocked it in the small trash can next to the sink. After having spent a few weeks with it missing already, I knew that trash was long gone. I was sure the ring was gone forever.
I wasn't even sure how to think about this. I didn't want it to be true, and I just felt empty and distraught, but unable to even cry, when I thought about the ring I made for Matt being gone. I mean, it wasn't anything fancy, but it was special. Just like my ring was - even now, it is still special and I would feel devastated if I lost it.
I could go on about the worried thoughts that I tried to ignore for the most part because I really didn't know where else it could be .... but I'll get to the end of the story, which, thankfully, is happy.
We went to Matt's parent's house again a couple of days ago. Matt got out of the driver's side and bent down to get something from the back seat.
He said, "Elizabeth, you're going to want to see this."
I first thought it was maybe some weird or neat thing - like a Killdeer nest (Matt loves those birds), but he picked up something off the ground and started to come over to me on the passenger side.
I am bad about not trusting Matt when he brings over things in his hand. I'm always afraid it will be some bug or yucky creature. I asked it if was alive.
He said no, and then it clicked.
"Is it your ring?"
"Yes!"
I was SO relieved and happy.
The gist is that Matt must have had the ring in his pocket when getting into the car one time, and it fell out. For who knows how long, it had lain in the gravel part of his parent's driveway, unmoved. When he picked it up, it was wrapped around a small rock. Maybe someone drove over it or stepped on it and pressed the two together? Matt took the ring off the rock before taking a picture, but later really regretted not saving the rock as part of the crazy story. I'm just glad the ring is not lost forever.
The ring is a bit rusty now, and Matt has placed it on the dragon tail for safe keeping. I'm sure we can easily clean it up soon. We've now talked more about getting professionally made rings on a future anniversary so that Matt's can fit better and won't rust, and mine can be complete as it is supposed to be. But, I know we will still wear and keep the ones we made and treasure them forever.
We both just can't believe it was right there the entire time, and that Matt saw it there among the rocks, not even purposefully looking for it. He says a lifetime of looking at the ground to pick up coins and neat rocks prepared him to find it.
Yay!! So glad it's found! What an awesome story. You guys are great.
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