... and kitty makes three

Since I mentioned the Literary Can[n]on in a previous post, I thought I should also let everyone know about the Grammar Hammer. It is something a friend--Jeremy--and I sort of made up together. I don't remember the circumstances in which we thought of it. Basically, it is a small sledgehammer with a stamp on the end emblazoned with "Grammar Hammer." It is used on students' papers when they use grammar so atrocious that it would be impossible to grade as is. Obviously, it would only be used in dire circumstances. When I become a teacher, I plan to make/get a Grammar Hammer and a model canon so I can have all the weapons an English teacher needs to survive the war that is High School (just kidding). Of course, I would probably jokingly threaten students with the canon and hammer so that they became something sort of silly, but I would not hesitate to use either if the need called for it. Hopefully though, it would be less of an embarrassing experience and more of "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. I'll go fix that," on the student's part.