Monday, October 11, 2010

Signs You are in an Immature Relationship


Okay, so it is really just one sign, not plural.

Today on the radio I heard this from a caller: "So my boyfriend and I have been dating for like, 5 years and we lived on opposite sides of town and had different work schedules, and we [were having troubles] so we decided to move in together, but now we are fighting even worse about really stupid stuff ... like whether to use a bowl or plate for salad, stuff like that and so I thought we should go to couples counseling ...."

First of all (and the first thing the radio people said), couples counseling is for people who are already married and have actual foundational problems with their relationship. Second, it makes me really upset to hear people talk about things like this. This woman has to be at least 20 to have dated someone for 5 years and be considering marriage, which she said she was. If she is that old and can't stand living across town from her boyfriend, something is wrong. I have been dating Matt for 3 1/2 years and for almost half of that time we have lived over 1000 miles apart. We get to see each other once a month. These two were lucky enough to be able to see each other once a week or more to begin with. 

Also, thinking that moving in with someone is going to solve all your problems is pretty illogical. If you can't work out problems by conversation, being around that person more is probably not going to help things. Being apart from Matt has made me appreciate the times we spend talking and seeing each other even more, and the trivial things we sometimes used to fight almost never come up now. It really upsets me when I know several other couples besides us who are also in distance relationships and are determined enough to make it work, and then I hear of people who complain about living across town from one another. Or worse, they are living together and get to see each other every day but waste those precious moments fighting. I would give so much to be able to be with Matt every day.

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